1. Uh oh…
No one likes hearing this – not parents, not repairmen, not developers. They don’t like hearing others say it, and they don’t like hearing it come out of their own mouths. It usually means bugs.
2. Can you fix my computer?
This question is the bane of all mildly computer competent people everywhere. So when people know your job is computers, the questions are about 100 times more frequent and 100 times worse.
3. So… like Steve Jobs?
There hundreds of other computer gurus to look up to. And if you aren’t an “Apple guy,” this question is about a hundred times more irritating. Also – not everyone is going to become a multimillionaire.
4. You must like XYZ computer game.
The stereotype is that computer guys go home and play computer games. This might be true. But it might not be, and it might just be that they hate whatever computer game you’re referring to.
5. Have you tried restarting?
This works for average problems. A bug in the code – restarting is not going to help and your question is just making the situation worse.
6. How much is this going to cost?
For any kind of project, this question is borderline rude. If you want it done well, it’s going to cost money. Those things should be decided ahead of time and then not dragged up over and over again.
7. How long is this going to take?
This question is similar to “How much is this going to cost?” Once the timeline is established, it’s rude to ask over and over again as if the developer cannot figure it out himself.
8. I would do it myself, but…
This is usually the sign of a micro-manager or an amateur with inflated self-confidence. It can be painful to work for this kind of person.
9. Make it look identical to XYZ
That is called plagiarism, and there are copyright laws against it.
If you think there should be a quote which can join this list, leave a comment.